She’s Baaaaaaaack!!! Survivor Recaps by CantVoteMeOff!!

By:?cantvotemeoff

Ahhhh?autumn in Ohio.? Crisp nights, Leaves changing colors?but on this beautiful evening, all thoughts are deep in the heart of the South Pacific with its fierce coast lines.? Can you imagine rafts paddling towards the shore with 20 complete strangers?? Their opinions very from a super outdoors woman to a pit bill who says he?s planning on making every one miserable to a cop that believes no one.? 20 strangers forced to live together while battling the elements and each other.? They must adapt or be voted out.? In the end only one will claim the million dollar prize.? 39 days, 20 people (,music crescendos)1 survivor?camera pans wide shot on sexy host as waves crash around him and the drums begin to play.

Our little castaways are already divided into tribes called Galu and Foa Foa.? They are to vote on who would make the best leader based on looks only.? Russell and Mick are chosen with Jaison, Marisa, Liz, Eric and Shambo all getting votes as well.?? They then have to chosen people to compete in first challenge.

Galu chooses:

Swimmer? John

Strongest? Eric

Agile? Yazmin

Smartest? shambo

While Fao Fao chooses

Swimmer? Jaison

Strongest? Russell

Agile? Marisa

Smartest? Liz

The swimmers retrieve keys to the strongest.? They carry logs to the agile person who works a rope key to the smartest who puts together a puzzle.? Jaison smokes John in the swimming.? Russell makes quick work of first logs and fades.? Not nearly as bad as Eric though.? The agile girls race through their section leaving Liz with a small lead over Shambo.? Shambo nearly catches Liz but Foa Foa wins flint.? Russell says he is proud of how hard his group worked together.? Oh I hope he?s not one of those feel good hurt no one?s feelings types.

On Foa Foa everyone introduced themselves and begin to get to work.? Russell (who I have officially dubbed Rasshole) says he came to play not work.?? He begins his plan to make alliances with each one of the dumb girls.? So he starts with the dumb short hair blonde?then the even dumber long hair blonde and the dark haired girl?he will call it his dumbass girl alliance (DAG is what I call it)? then he moves on to new alliance with the cop lady (Betsy) who he knows is smarter than his DAG alliance.? Who says she doesn?t trust him but she made an alliance with him.

On Galu, Russell takes charge and tells them to make a raft and then raise the raft.? His take charge attitude makes Shambo happy.? John starts analyzing every aspect down to wind direction and rain.? He wants to take 4 to think it through which leads to Galu in the water. Shambo tries to find balance between Survivor and the Marine Corp.

That night in Foa, Rasshole tells a story about how he was in Nawlins with his German shepherd named Rocky when Katrina hit.? So he takes his axe (because he?s a fireman) and how the wave swept his dog away (insert gasps and awwws from DAG). When he is alone RASSHOLE admits he?s not a fireman, never owned a dog and didn?t go through Katrina.? Ohhh did I mention that he stayed on his roof for 2 days? Mareeeeeesa says she?s starting to feel he?s slimy.

Meanwhile, Rasshole dumps everyone?s canteens out and burnt socks in the fire.? Rasshole says he is a multi-millionaire oil man from Texas.? He?s not there for the money but to show how easy it is to win.? HMMMM multimillionaire Texas oil man?? Where did BBS go ?diving??? Foa realizes their water is gone and socks burnt and start to turn on each other.

At immunity Russell says his tribe is ?tough as nail…working hard? while Foa says we?ve never read that book?things losers says?.which makes the DAG alliance giggle.

6 members from each tribe climb 3 a-frames carrying rope and then tie ropes together to lug a crate up a track.? They rest of the tribe takes over in solving a puzzle.

Galu gets off to a huge lead but Foa makes up time.? Foa starts the puzzle strong but suddenly Galu gets on a roll to win immunity and chants Galu is in da house?.which I am guessing Eric didn?t read in the things losers say book either.

At Foa, Mike puts Ashley?s name out there to deflect attention from his age.? Rasshole talks to Mareeeeeesa who confronts him on talking to everyone.? Why should I trust you?? Which prompts Rasshole to say ?she?s gone?.? He then goes to everyone to tell them Mareeeeeesa.? He says he is the puppet master.? (Great!? Another self-imposed nickname) Betsy tries to tell DAG NOT to trust Rasshole but she can?t pinpoint why.

At tribal Ashley says it?s sad to see one of them go but it is what it is, which Jeff repeats.? Why?? Why?? Why?? Can we ban this statement from English language?

Mike says they got lucky with puzzle.? Betsy declares Ashley the weakest?Ashley says she is shocked because she works out TONS at home and does a lot of cardio?

Jeff asks Mareeeeeesa who is weakest link and she says?there?s different levels of weakness?.so I?m not?..the weakest?.I ?m just saying?I don?t?.

This is where disaster struck and my VCR tape ran out of room?.I can tell you that Mareeeeeesa was voted off though?.

Next week, Jeff gets pissed off at something during the challenge?I just love it when he gets fiery.? Season off to a rousing start.? Looks like we actually have some personalities.? Welcome to out BB fans who are soooo sick of Gnat and the likes.? Sorry this is so late this week?you know?.work sucks.

Til the drums begin to play again?.