Survivor Week 8 Recap

By: cantvotemeoff

Fresh from voting off Sydney, Joe feels like odd man out. JT laments on being down to four. Taj says Jala lost their pao. Taj says who knows perhaps tomorrow our luck will change. Stephen shakes his head

As the drums begin to play?

Dramatic music plays as we focus on Coach on the beach doing his morning meditation and declares ?it?s all about me now?. Um?yeah. That?s different, how?

Erinn says if she has to drag him down to the beach and shove him in the water every morning she will do it because she likes the new coach.

Brendan talks of Coach?s constant hair samurai hair thing

Over on Jalapao Joe?s leg is swollen and red from the knee down.

They get tree mail that discuss feast. Taj says she just gets excited whenever anything starts with F. The tribes end up on the same path to a hut with food and new buffs laid out. No Probst saying “drop your buffs”?what a rip off. They discuss names and opt for FORZA over the more appropriate DINGUS. Sierra wastes no time telling them how shocked they were over last two votes.

Coach says merge is like a new girl friend?all kinds of new things to explore. He also likes the new people, well specifically JT and Stephen?lots of big horses and alpha males.

The understatement of the season goes to JT when he wonders if there is a power struggle in Timbira.

At the new tribe coach wastes no time pulling JT into his camp. Says Stephen, Tyson JT and himself will take out Brendan. Coach is so anxious to take over the leadership roll that he has forgotten about his dislike of Erinn and ignoring the fact that Joe can hardly walk completely. Coach likes the openness and honesty in JT, calls him a warrior.

JT tells Coach he has no idea if Taj has the idol?technically true because Stephen had it last. Coach says let?s keep it honest and real. JT agrees to keep it real. JT in tree confessional says it?s hard to keep six people together that hate each other and my job is to make sure they continue to hate each other.

Coach tells Tyson he talked to JT because ?he and I had a rapport without talking?

In tree confessional Coach says you want to defeat the army you cut off the head of the dragon. It?s time for Brendan to go.?

Tyson tells Stephen it is them, JT, Coach and Debbie.

Tyson and JT go off fishing and JT tells him Stephen is the only guy he can vouch for 100%. The two of them have a complete conversation using 3 word nonsensical fragments that apparently they understand as they hug at the end.

Tyson and Deb go off to get firewood. He tells her about JT and Stephen.

Taj and Stephen wonder what is going on with Brendan and their cross tribal ultra top secret 4 way wink wink alliance since he has made NO indications at all that they are still with the plan.

Brendan in tree confessional says that the cross tribal ultra top secret 4 way wink wink alliance is laying low until there are 7-8 people left.

Tyson and Deb tell Brendan they are voting for Joe.

Tyson says he is a bigger schemer than Brendan.

Joe and Erinn go off together and discuss idol search. They discover that the idol is not there any longer. Joe never mentions finding the idol at his camp (fake one)

At immunity challenge they are hold on to a pole as long as they can. Stephen and Joe drop off first and Jeff notices Joe?s knee. Brendan drops off next and Coach grins evilly. Taj and Erinn drop off quickly and after 20 minutes JT drops off. Coach says it?s all old Timbira now and drops off. Sierra drops off and scrapes every part of her body on the pole leaving Deb and Tyson.

Erinn ?be careful Tyson you don?t want to fall off?

Tyson: ?don?t boss me around lady?

Erinn ?don?t want you to break your pretty little face?

Tyson ?that?s true it is my money maker?

Tyson ends up winning immunity and says any ladies that want my phone number just ask.

Jeff has the doctor check out Joe?s knee. Joe wants to continue but doctor says infection could get in bone or blood and if not treated could result in death.

We head back to camp and the vote talk begins?.get out your pie charts, abacuses and slide rules. You might want to take notes too?

Coach, Tyson, Brendan, Sierra and Erinn say vote for JT because they can get Joe out any time.

In tree confession Tyson says JT and Stephen replaced Brendan and Sierra in alliance. He never liked Sierra and she only out there to give stupid people around the world some hope. He says Brendan is sneaky. We smile at each other, we hug. I?ve kissed him on the neck, softly. He?s felt my warm steamy breath on the small of his back, but keep friends close and enemies closer.

Stephen says to JT he will go with him if he promises to turn on them. Tyson walks up to conversation and assures them that Deb is 100% says he will get Erinn to vote with them but she is NOT in on this.

Stephen says ?wow what mess?

Stephen tells Taj they should take Brendan out tonight. Taj says if he can pull it together she will do it.

Coach and JT go fishing. Coach tells JT that old Timbira was going to vote for him tonight.

JT tells Stephen how they were going to vote him out. Stephen?s math brain kicks in and he says if they split the votes then they can save JT by voting for Sierra.

Stephen tells Tyson the plan to cast a couple of votes for Sierra so if they play idol JT is still safe.

Tyson tells Coach. Coach channels Julie Chen and says this will rock old Timbira to its foundations.

Coach says call me the orchestrator for keeping initial plan in tact. Not keeping around the weak or getting rid of deceitful players or call me the dragon slayer because I?m cutting off the head of the dragon. Whatever you want cause at this point in time I?m brilliant (crash of thunder)

But alas Coach, you arrogant ass, this is Survivor. You are just the Jim Carrey in Mark Burnett?s Truman Show. One incredibly sexy and very wet Jeff walks into camp. He strikes a ?Captain? pose and begins to announce an update. He tells them Joe cannot continue in the game. He then informs them that there will be no tribal council tonight.

Coach says the dragon slayer has to wait another day to taste blood.

Tribe merges 1

Pep talks 3

Coach metaphors 6

Coach ego strokings 4

In next week?s previews Brendan awakens the sleeping dragon cross tribal ultra top secret 4 way wink wink alliance. Coach again talks of cutting off the head of the dragon to see who is the chosen one.

Make that 7 Coach metaphors and 5 ego strokings.

Until the drums begin to play again. Happy Easter and Happy Passover?

LICKS!

Cant