Survivor Tocantis - Episode 2 Recap

By:?cantvotemeoff

When last we saw our survivors?Sandy was spared and Caroleeeeeena and her floatation devices were set a drift?.

When Jalapao returned to camp Sandy and her shape shifting faces thanks everyone for allowing her to hang out for a few more days while Spencer (who was in diapers the first time I lit Survivor candles) was plotting her demise.

And the drums begin to play?have I ever mentioned how much I love the theme song? I love the way it changes from season to season. Australian Outback remains my opening theme still.

As sun rises over the tribes, Jalapao declares today they are eating protein and head off on a termite search. They find a lovely assortment of termites (that would make Timon and Pumbah proud) and also a grub. Sandy thinks they should save it for fishing while the others apparently feel it would be best shared among the seven of them. Turns out a single grub only feeds two?go figure. I am guessing the others filled up on termites before their dinner was done. Remember this is the tribe that opted to NOT take any of the rice or beans off the truck just 4 days ago.

Over on Timbira, Sierra confides to Brendan about the hidden immunity idol and they go off to dig. They are a good 3 feet down in the sand when Deb wanders off in search of them. Here are two people digging a giant hole in the middle of the beach in 110 degree heat and they have the nerve to tell Deb that they are digging a fire pit for later?you know in case they want to have a fire on the beach later. They could invite Frankie and Annette over and it will be great fun!

How stupid do Brendan and Sierra have to be to think that Deb would fall for a line of BS like that? Only a complete ding bat would fall for the old ?honestly! We are not digging for immunity idol? lie! WHAT? You CANNOT be serious? She fell for it? Now I suppose you are going to tell me that she raced back to her tribe and told them what a great plan they had and how groovy it will be. She did? What a dumbass!

Candace on the other hand thinks it?s the stupidest idea and says she won?t go down there and sit around and talk crap when they can do that at camp. She gives Sierra a look and Sierra rolls her eyes back at Candace.

Realizing how close they came to getting caught Sierra decides to abandon search for HII?..still no sighting this week of our delightful host.

On Timbira Coach and Candace are having an alpha male spitting contest. This one is over how to cook the beans rice. Candace says to cook them in one pot while coach says two pots?while CANT says why are you eating both at the same meal? You still have 35 days out here. CONSERVE FOOD!!!!! Unless you managed to sc ore an invite to Jalapao?s ?kum-ba-ya, beach blanket bingo clam bake?.

Back to the great rice/bean debate 2009?Coach states that he and Candace have the same personalities-both find faults in others. He?s like that because he?s got issues?I mean he is a coach and she just likes to be that way. Candace says in real life she would have taken him down to his psyche, his insecurities, his over compensation?but here on the island she will just wait for him to come apologize.

He does come around to apologize to her and says ?I just want to kiss you?. Candace makes him grovel before agreeing to let him kiss her cheek?which he ends up licking. Now normally I would have absolutely nothing against a good face licking but this one turned my stomach like Stephen?s after he ate that grub.

Meanwhile, on Jalapao Taj confesses that her hubby is Eddie George (retired football player). I REALLY wanted to like Taj too. But her hubby played for the Ohio State Buckeyes and I just despise everything Ohio State. The males of the tribe stared slack jawed at Taj apparently in awe of her hubby, while Stephen (our anxious NY Jew) has no clue who Eddie George but likes men in tight pants.

JT said something about million dollars but they didn?t caption it?I am convinced that he is Big Tom?s long lost son.

As the tribes file in for the immunity challenge we see a bright beacon of light radiating from the horizon?ohhh wait that is just the magnificent Probster?this IC is going to be wet (go figure) three randomly drawn tribe mates will combine water polo, basketball and big time wrestling to be the first to score 3 baskets. The winner will receive immunity, fishing gear and select someone from the other tribe to go to exile?and the mysterious note that Jeff will read after the challenge. (I love the way his sumptuous lips say the word strategize) The wrestling aspect of the challenge takes over in a flurry of blurred boobs and butt cracks with Timbira taking an early 2-0 lead. The third round was all women which left the men in my house all breathless and possibly tingly. Jalapao wins the third round. The fourth round is an all male testosterone fest. We see Coach lagging behind and not really participating. I hope the girls on his team (you know the ones that he finds fault with and nags all the time about hustling) see this?

Jalapao comes back to win the IC and fishing gear (bet they wish they hadn?t eaten that grub right about now) They select Brendan to go to exile and in the twist has to select someone from Timbira to go with him. He takes Taj.

The Jalapao tribe goes off to fish and here we have a real bro-mance develop. Stephen and JT. Stephen gushes about how JT is an Alabama country boy?a real Tom Sawyer and he is just an angsty city boy. Of JT Stephen says ?he might be seducing me with his pretty country ways, but I?m smitten?. Now I spent a weekend with a certain New York poster on this board and I can tell you?I am very impressed that JT can understand Stephen without some sort of interpreter.

On Exile Island (which is a dune) Brendan and Taj each pick a jug. Taj?s is empty and Brendan?s has a clue. Immunity is at Tribal homeland and when they return he can either rejoin his tribe or cross over to Jalapao. Taj says she would help him find the idol and he can keep it for himself. They decide that the idol is hidden back at their prospective camps so they spend the rest of the time chatting each other up. Taj confesses in tree confessional that telling people that her hubby is a famous TV/football hero was probably not the smartest thing to do.

While Coach is off finding fault with everyone, Candace is taking the opportunity to throw him under the bus. ?He is like church women who wear hats but aren?t on the up and up?. When Deb gets near Coach again she takes the opportunity to throw Candace under the bus because she doesn?t like trash talking. Coach then utters the show title ?one poison apple ruins the bunch?. Immediately I launch into Jackson 5 singing ?one bad apple don?t spoil the whole bunch girl?.? His mixed metaphors are going to KILL ME before the end of the season.

Brendan rejoins his tribe and LIES (can you believe that???) and says that Taj was the one to get the clue. Around Timbira tribe it is becoming apparent that Coach wants to vote off Candace. Perhaps it is him saying ?she?s a cancer on the tribe? no less than 5 times that gave it away. Gerry and Tyson sit back and laugh at the drama?.?things are really heating up? ?yeah, and it?s just the beginning?

At tribal council our HILF (host I?d like to?) questions the Survivors on life at camp. Sierra says that she was ready to give up when they voted her off when they got off the truck but that their vote was valid. Candace resents Sierra not making the trip and being helicoptered in and feels she is vibing with the tribe. Coach says go with own intuition at this stage no one is going to tell you if you are in danger (duh) Erin interjects (apparently because she only has about 30 seconds of face time so far) she says I don?t know these people?I don?t know if you can trust them.

When the votes are tallied it is Candace from Dayton Ohio who gets voted off faster than Colin Ferrell?s pants in a sex tape. In her exit, Candace says she is surprised and pissed off?I worked hard blah blah blah I was an asset blah blah blah they?re gonna need me blah blah blah.

Previews for next week show Taj making a secret alliance with a secret male. I am thinking her and Brendan get sent back to exile dune?.

One complaint about this week?s show?not enough Probst time?

On a personal note?thank you for reading my rambling thoughts. I appreciate all the kind comments.

The future Mrs. Jeff Probst