Survivor: Tocantins - Episode 1 Recap

By:?cantvotemeoff

An old truck rumbles across the Brazilian plains. In the back are 16 strangers who have lives that they can uproot and abandon for an extended period of time.

In the sultry heat a man in well pressed clothes and dimples to die for leans seductively forward and begins to describe the perils and angers that wait in this beautiful corner of the world.

Open to a wide shot of this Adonis and his fresh batch of noobs as he utters the words that give the true Survivor fan chills?.

39 days

16 contestants

1 survivor

And the drums begin to play

This season finds our Survivors in TosCANTins, Jeff (hottie) invites them to remove everything they can from the truck. They strip it faster than an abandoned vehicle in a Detroit alley and the game deals its first twist?

The tribes are asked to vote for one person to NOT make the 4 hour journey to camp. The Jalapia tribes votes for the perceived weakest older lady, Sandy. The Timberia tribe votes for Typhoid Mary?I mean Sierra.

Jeff in a way that only he can questions both women?Sierra says ?I?m sick, I have a fever blah blah blah? while Sandy launches into a rant about old vs. Young and how they would all be sorry

**note to Survivor hopefuls** Never (and I do mean NEVER) burn your bridges in front of your tribe let alone in front of both tribes until your torch is snuffed out by the incredibly sexy Jeff

No sooner than the survivors take a breath from their first vote than the twist twists again. We learn that hunky Jeff never said they were being voted off but that they would be helicoptered into camp while the others made the 4 hour trek in 115 degree heat.

Our two outcasts are given a choice at their new camps?begin building shelter and make friends or hunt for hidden immunity idol. Sierra in her delusional fever state opts for shelter building and begins to work. Her tribe mates arrive well after dark to find a shelter ready for all of them to rest.

Meanwhile, Sandy opts for idol search. She is to look for stick in sand?now I don?t know about you but I noted that this woman dug and dug right by water?s edge next to a stick that washed up on beach. Later she feigned a bathroom break and went back to dig?this time near the giant stick that was stuck straight up out of the ground. When she finds the tile she is instructed to go 10 paces towards the lone palm tree for the next clue. Now we have troubles. Sandy doesn?t know what a pace is?nor does she know what a palm tree is?I had flashbacks to the loot being buried under a giant W (how many of you got that one?)

Meanwhile Sierra, Tyson and one of the model/hairstylist/pharm reps decide they are going to get water. Tyson does this task naked to keep his clothes dry for challenge?apparently he?s never seen the show to know that there is always water or mud in the challenges. The girls spent most of this time in fits of giggles, not sure if they were nervous or embarrassed for him.

These first shows are rough because there are so many people. We learned that Coach is, well, he?s a coach and conductor/artistic director for a symphony orchestra?and feels that only the strong should survive

Jerry/Gerry is a first sergeant in the US Army who just returned from Afghanistan

Spencer is the youngest player in Survivor history

JT is a Black Angus cattle rancher and needs captions

Stephen is an ?anxious New York Jew?

Tyson is a naked Mormon who thinks with his million dollars he is going to be draped in furs, rings on ?these beautiful fingers? and wear a man tiara

Carolina talks like Minnie mouse and has gianormous tatas

The challenge is climbing over dunes, go into water to retrieve puzzle pieces?this is where we learn that Carolina?s flotation devices are useless in challenges. Timbira returned first but Sandy and Taj kicked serious butt in putting the steps in the right order. Now two people must wiggle a peg on two ropes through a slot puzzle to release their flag. Once Timbira got their steps together they made short work of the peg while Jalapia couldn?t seem to get the tension right.

Jalapia?s loss spells certain doom for Sandy?until we see Taj, Sandy and Carolina in the water talking. Taj warns Carolina about barking orders around camp. While in a stream the others are discussing Sandy and her usefulness vs. Carolina?s mouth.

At tribal council the sensuous Jeff questions Sandy and comes to the logical conclusion that she is a crazy old lady.

They vote and Jeff saunters off to tally the votes. The first comes in for Sandy and as the votes come in to cast off Carolina are read, Sandy?s face morphs continuously?quite possibly the scariest thing I have EVER seen on Survivor.

As Carolina take the walk of shame our delicious host squares to the camera and in parting words says, This tribe has learned to change their first impressions and also learned the art of blind-siding?.

Dang that man is hot